|Pen and India Ink study of protagonist from graphic novel.|
Fear is a big part of it. I was screwed over by people I trusted, and instead of getting up and dusting off, I used excuses and blaming others for not moving forward… when really, it was because I was fearful of being taken advantage again.
For what? Fear may have kept me safe, but it’s also kept me hidden.
I’ve recently tried concurring my fear for many situations. I am finding confidence in my art and writing. Conversely, I am discovering people don’t always want to know how you feel. The price of facing your fears is high, but the benefits are far-reaching… John Steinbeck once said “And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.” Fear of loss keeps you from moving forward.
Also, knowing what your Plan A should be is a gift. Not everyone knows what they want to do. “Follow your passions” doesn’t really mean much if your passion is something that isn’t sustainable. I’ve had many passions. I spent much time trying to decide what was the best fit for my life, so I experimented and made many new friends along the way.
CONCURING FEARS THROUGH HARD WORK
Yep. Hard work. Day in, day out. You face it, and you work at it. You work towards it. I used to be so afraid of using the croquill pen. I tried using it when I was starting out, as well as a brush for my inks. The results were a big, gloopy mess. It scared me. I would look at magnificent artists work like Mark Schultz and dream the worlds I could create if I could just master those tools. But daydreaming isn’t enough. So, I finally took my fear head on and practiced. At first, I used ball point pens- innocuous enough. Then moved on to the more fountain type pens. I began to get annoyed with the limitations of those implements, and one day I took out the 10 year old croquill and ink (which was still fresh) and went to town. All those years of working with the ballpoint and fountain pen paid off- and my hand was steady. Now, when I use the croquill, I have a steady hand- and steady hands come from confidence- confidence which came from practice.
THE GRAPHIC NOVEL
It is progressing. I am tidying up the plot, and twisting in some juicy subplots. I want to use a number of realworld props to help me illustrate my world better. One book- “Imaginative Realism” by James Gurney has been a wonderful guide to creating things to use as reference.